The women don’t look at me
Tired women deserve kindness. Lonely women are a threat.
Original publication link: The women don’t look at me anymore
The women don’t look at me anymore,
Don’t meet my eyes,
Offer a smile, acknowledgement, glance of understanding,
Hello, you are like me. Hello.
This has stopped.
Maybe it’s because of how I walk, or dress.
Maybe it’s because of where I live.
Maybe it’s the bitch resting on my face, the cultivated guard against unwanted attention.
But that doesn’t usually stop the women, because they know.
They know it’s not meant to stop a friendly smile, a nod of encouragement, commiseration, kindness.
That’s not all they know.
They’re too far away to see my hand without a ring.
They don’t know my story.
But they smell something.
They can tell.
Every woman carries some blend of tired and lonely.
(Men, too, but they bake theirs into anger.)
Marriage kept me too exhausted to feel the loneliness.
The scale has tipped.
The ratio has shifted.
The loneliness…