How to Silence The Ugly Mean Girl Voice

I’ve grown too big for the psychic space I used to occupy.

I’m tired of not standing up for myself. Misplaced attention becomes more tension. I’m tired of waking up with anxiety instead of joy.

I’m tired of letting myself be so influenced by others. I’m tired of silencing myself. I’m tired of being reactive. I’m tired of giving up what I want to accommodate everyone else. I’m tired of trying to make people happy.

I’m tired of spinning in circles. I’m tired of never ever ever ever ever doing enough or being enough.

I’m tired of giving away my privacy, my solitude, my autonomy, my space, my emotions. I’m tired of my own self-sacrificing habits. I’m tired of how I follow a lead, how I look for a decision, how I roll with the punches. NO. Stop punching me. That’s the thing to say. Not okay. Not whatever. NO.

I give myself to this? I make all this more than the deepest highest core needs and wants?

I’m tired of hiding. I’m tired of using all these things as an excuse. I’m tired of feeling anxious, guilty, blocked, ashamed, sad, defeated. I’m tired of accepting decay.

I’m tired of delaying until the right time. I’m tired of devaluing my own ambition. I’m tired of making myself small and acceptable.

Stop. Hard breath. Deep breath. Big breath. Fill up those lungs, girl, are you ready?

I am the fruit bursting open, dying, demolishing the old shell to release the seeds. Watch me grow, watch me grow, watch me bloom and grow.

The fruit bursts, breaks, falls and flings off the old: false beliefs, heavy old dogmas, guilt, obligation, burden and limit and burden and limit, circles whipping around me, snapping at my heels, binding and binding, growing smaller and smaller

Life is an experiment | All this and more: |☠️ Sweary☠️

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